The Age Gap


I often get asked what it’s like having a 6 and a half year age gap between my children I am sure the age gap is different for all of us. My story wasn’t so prefect,  Jayda would often ask Josh and I to have a baby she didn’t understand that I wasn’t physically well enough to have another baby.  I think Jayda believed that she would always be our only child,This didn’t end up being the case as I clearly had another wee girl after Jayda.  I was cleared by the doctors to have another child and I was told that it would be hard on my body and that I would have to rest A LOT, I believed that it would be all worth it in the end.
We were so excited to tell Jayda our news and we got the video camera out ready to film it.  We told Jayda and she was happy, (so we thought). The time went by fast and before I knew it, it was time to go to my 5 month scan to check how our wee babe was growing.  We also were going to be told the sex of our baby. Both Josh and I thought we would make a family day of it and take Jayda along to see the scan.  Jayda badly wanted a baby brother so she could always remain as daddy’s only princess. In the scan the lady looked at Jayda and said you’re having a baby SISTER! Jayda started crying and saying “no put it back, it’s meant to be a brother”.  Both Josh and I felt a bit upset with Jayda’s reaction but we were sure that it would blow over and she would be okay with having a baby sister once she was born. We spent a lot of time explaining to Jayda that she would always be special to us and she’s going to make a great big sister.
I was packing my hospital bag and I remember Jayda asking “mummy will you both still love me the same?”  I had to put myself into her shoes and think about how she was feeling, it must have been hard on her. Jayda went off to her best friend’s house when I left on the 7th march to go into hospital to be induced.  Jayda said goodbye and was excited to be going to her friends place. I had a lot of emotions running through me knowing that next time I see Jayda I would now be a mother to 2 children. The day was long but our wee girl was born safe and sound.  I stayed in hospital for a few days to keep a track on my heart and to make sure Lucy was all okay as I had a few complications during my pregnancy and with her birth.
Jayda came to visit and was acting a lot more full on than normal but I knew this was all part of the big change.  A year on we were having a lot of trouble with Jayda’s emotions and we decided to start her in counselling so she could talk to someone other than me and Josh about feelings. Jayda has learnt a lot of tools to help her deal with her feelings and emotions. I do find it hard some days as both of the children are at very different stages in life but it is manageable.  They both are involved in a lot of outside of school and home activities to keep them busy and healthy. We also give the girl’s one on one time and they now play a lot more together.
Both the girls are so different from each other but that is what keeps things interesting and we love it!

Monique RobinsFAV